“Depression is stupid and not a thing that makes me a better writer. One time I went a whole year without writing and I stayed in bed and drank. Fuck your Bukowskisms. I want sunlight and love and running down some street I’ve never been on where it’s warm and cool at the same time and I’m smiling. I want nothing to ever be bad again- and I don’t mean that I want a life free of conflict, I mean that I want a life free of meaningless conflict. Not being able to will oneself to take a shower or leave the house is meaningless. There is nothing to be gained, no lesson to be learned from that kind of life. My heart is stale, my prose is stale. Give me fire if you want to hurt me. Give me something I can taste. There’s nothing romantic or mysterious about where I am. There’s nothing here worth holding onto.”—
here’s a tip: if you start dating a depressed person, don’t be surprised if they are still depressed while they are dating you. they’re not depressed because they’re single, and you are not an all-powerful cure for mental illnesses. just be there for them.
my life got about a thousand times better once i stopped censoring myself
and by censoring i don’t mean i suddenly embraced indiscriminate swearing; i mean i stopped trying to sugarcoat my past or my feelings; i stopped lying by omission; i stopped having guilty pleasures; i began unabashedly enjoying whatever i liked; i became very honest; i cut out of my life poisonous people and negative ideals, and i am so, so much happier for it
The thing that sucks about mental illness is that if you aren’t depressed enough, suicidal enough, bad enough, nobody cares. Nobody cares until you reach their standard, and that standard is when your problem is bad enough to effect them
Fun little trick I learned in therapy: validation. When someone is upset, don’t try to fix the problem, point out the cause, or tell them it could be worse. Just validate their emotions. Be like, ‘shit yeah man, that sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m here for you.’ That’s literally all you have to do to make them feel better. Thank you and goodnight.
I FUCKING HATE SOCIAL ANXIETY BECAUSE YOU’RE SCARED TO TALK TO PEOPLE BUT ALSO DYING TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND HANG OUT AND RELAX AND HAVE FUN AND NOT BE ALONE AND LONELY AND FEEL LIKE SHIT BUT YOU DO FEEL LIKE SHIT BECAUSE YOU CAN’T EVEN RELAX ENOUGH TO TALK TO PEOPLE WITHOUT OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING